the HRUNGRY KITCHEN

I want to remember this feeling…

I finally resigned two weeks ago. Lots of emotions.

I was sad in the last few months leading up to that moment. I felt sad, angry, guilty, grateful, and then more sadness. They say it’s grief. I do feel like it is sometimes—I invested emotionally and built great connections with most people there, after all. And when you care, leaving never feels simple

I can’t figure out exactly why I’m sad, but if this is the unavoidable grief that comes with every relationship, then I don’t regret being authentic for even a second of it. I want to remember this. It’s part of being human—the grief will always be there because the care was real.

People always say I’m too genuine with others. They take it as me being naive and gullible. Maybe I am. I’m only 25; there are still so many things that I don’t know that I don’t know. The thing is, I’m genuine with people not because I believe betrayal never happens, but because I know that no matter how hard I try, grief and goodbyes will come eventually. And by pushing people away, I also push away the potential beauty in every person.

I’d rather live life fully by being authentic in every present moment. And in this job, I did. I got hurt in the end, but I also saw the beauty of this place. I made great connections along the way. People were happier next to me—perhaps because of me, perhaps not. Would I do it again? 100%.

It’s been two weeks, and I’m slowly starting to feel better. I’m about to start my new job soon, and I hope I still have the courage and energy to be my authentic self. After all, we spend so much of our lives at work. The “work is always going to be shit, but at least you’re getting paid” attitude still doesn’t resonate with me.

I’d rather make the most of every person I encounter, until I can’t anymore.